hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize