Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i think i have two assholes
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
