so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
