check it out our google latitudes are spooning
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Farmville is her only friend.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
