The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
bring money and cleavage
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
