so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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