That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
