My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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