Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
