Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
