i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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