Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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