And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
