Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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