she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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