Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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