you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
