i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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