I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
