; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
