I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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