Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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