His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
