The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
