Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
It's just like the Real World with babies
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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