I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
