just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
