I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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