Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
