I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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