Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
