THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
