Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
