pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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