are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize