Dual....:-)
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
