Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize