how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
