check it out our google latitudes are spooning
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
