Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I think people are normalizing furries
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
