what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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