The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
