I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
