doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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