HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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