is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
