I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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