problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
