...so i touched it.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
