Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
