took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
