Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
