We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
