Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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