Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
