I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
