420 ftw
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
