I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
