Come see our sink grown plant.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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