i jhust puked up my retainher.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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