Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
